home
***
CD-ROM
|
disk
|
FTP
|
other
***
search
/
Fritz: All Fritz
/
All Fritz.zip
/
All Fritz
/
FILES
/
EDUCMISC
/
PARENTS.LZH
/
KEEPS.TXT
< prev
next >
Wrap
Text File
|
1986-12-25
|
6KB
|
108 lines
Assure that @5 knows the target behavior '
still has meaning for you. '
'
Often, if a behavior loses meaning for the '
adults in the child's world, it loses meaning '
for the child as well. This can be counteracted'
by reaffirming your interest in the target be- '
havior in an ongoing way. This is best done '
unexpectedly and in way that lets @5 '
know that you really care. '
'
MAINTAINING DESIRABLE BEHAVIOR '
'
Children like the feeling that someone cares '
about them and what they do. This is not com- '
municated when the behavior is not attended to. '
Enthusiasm for and involvement with the behav- '
ior is what keeps it going. '
'
Ask yourself: '
* When was the last time I really noticed '
and responded to the target behavior? '
* How can I communicate to @5 that I '
really care about what @3 is doing? '
* Can I find ways to respond to the behav- '
ior that are unexpected and delightful? '
MAINTAINING DESIRABLE BEHAVIOR '
'
Even very young children respond to the very '
positive attention of their caretakers. Being '
able to catch and hold the attention of adults '
by what the child does is the beginning of the '
process of socialization. '
'
Try: '
* Looking for what you like by watching '
@5 from a distance. '
* Taking part in the behavior when you see '
it. '
* Spending the time to get involved without '
distraction. '
MAINTAINING DESIRABLE BEHAVIOR '
'
Children of this age fight the need for control '
and also fear the loss of the caretaker's love. '
The caretakers must be both gentle and firm in '
defining the limits of accepable and unaccep- '
table behavior. '
'
Try: '
* Saying no when behavior running counter to '
the target behavior appears. '
* Saying yes both verbally and non-verbally '
when the target behavior appears. '
* Doing both as matter-of-factly as possible '
and making each behavior a new chance. '
MAINTAINING DESIRABLE BEHAVIOR '
'
Children of this age like to please, but they '
also like to be on their own. This can lead to '
times of closeness and times of distance. The '
key is to keep the door to pleasing you open and'
available. '
'
Try: '
* Letting @5 know what pleases you by '
showing your pleasure with your actions. '
* Keeping your eyes open for any case of the '
target behavior and showing your pleasure, '
even if other things may make you want to '
withhold your pleasure at the time. '
MAINTAINING DESIRABLE BEHAVIOR '
'
Pre-adolescents flop a lot between wanting to '
to return to the carefree world of childhood and'
wanting to be alone. This can lead to them to '
do the opposite of what you want just to see how'
you will respond. The best way to react is to '
show your disappointment and then let it go. '
'
Try: '
* Assuring that what you want is clearly '
understood by @5. '
* Clearly demonstrating your pleasurre when '
@5 sets out to please you. '
* Letting it be when @3 doesn't please you. '
MAINTAINING DESIRABLE BEHAVIOR '
'
Adolescents are typically less concerned with '
trying to please you than with earning your '
respect. Linking the behavior that you want to '
the human qualities that you respect and admire '
in others is one key to winning cooperation. '
'
Try: '
* Putting your expectations in terms of how '
one adult would treat another. '
* Demonstrating respect by treating @1 as an '
adult when the behavior is shown. '
* Showing the loss of respect when the be- '
havior is called for and is not shown. '
'
'
'
'
'